28. syyskuuta 2010

I feel like being all the time so tired. I could fall asleep when ever it's like 5 minutes break in the lesson. In the morning I could just push the snooze button how many times ever. I can be in the lessons: I can dance, act, sing and play the piano and when I don't remember that tiredness I'm fine. I enjoy what I'm doing. But then again when I need to wait even for couple of minutes that feeling is back. Still I see life really beautiful and enjoy it. I think I just would need holiday for couple of days. But I won't have it in next one and half weeks. 

Sunday evening I went to the Chapel. I tried to make a choreography for Wednesday's dance lesson (here's my music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN-VG1uvNj4). I worked for it about 2 hours and in the end I just needed to run back home Haltiala and grab my camera. What I saw was setting sun behind the old window and plant which was (and still is) on the windowsill. 

I saw that and in the same time I saw "sad but hopeful fairy sitting in the windowsill." I love that! 

At the moment this photo collage tells maybe quite much about me. About how I'm feeling with everything: myself, life, other people, nature around me... How I'm just feeling. That's why I want to share this image here. 

This isn't an awesome image but..... but. 

Blue matrjosjkas above the collegevillage. 
(I kind of know that's not a compound but I think you understand why I wrote it like that) 

Serja's scarf dancing! I loved it and I've got lots of awesome pictures but I choose this one because you can't see her face. Just before the lessons she (and Kerttu) was dancing with the scarves and that was pretty fun. Of course I wasn't dancing because I needed to take the photos!

And then: I've got awesome news! Lets start from yesterday.
Yesterday night I had a dream that I was walking in my host-family's house. Everything was different but still same and I was crying because I was back there and I missed so much to be. When I woke up from that dream I don't know what I felt - quite empty would probably describe it most. I was thinking of it and then after school I checked my mails. And what was there: a birthday card from all my friends in the church I used to go during my exchange student year in England. I recognized my friend Debzz's handwriting and opened the envelope as soon as I got back home. There it was: everyone's birthday wishes and names in the same card. I started to cry - I miss so much to be back in Bristol and especially in the church. 

Well... Today in the morning I was talking about it and my teacher just said "probably you could go to visit England on autumn's half term." I had been thinking about that before and in the break I went to IT-class for checking the flights. And I found so cheap ones. And then I made a phone call to my mom! And I noticed I'd have enough money. And there it was! I sent text message to one of my friends in England if I could stay with them and now I'm waiting for the answer. It'll be quite sure I'll go to England. In a month! Do I even have to tell more? 

I think God made this opportunity to me. Hopefully it'll come true. Now in last days so many friends of mine from England have been leaving comments or starting chats with me in Facebook and that makes me feel more like I really want to go to England! I don't even know what to say - I'm just too ....... excited-happy-nervous-messedup!! ♥ 

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